Sick of the Orange Zone! I want sleep

If you have read my other blogs you will know that I mentioned, that being in the 'Orange Zone', was like a safe zone for us as it enable me to to prepare for the battle ahead, and to learn from other peoples experiences and see what else the factions would unearth etc.

I woke up yesterday morning with a sick hate inside me, overnight I changed my outlook on this. I was sick of not being able to sleep at night and I look like I havent slept much, my visions haunted with the last year, but in particular the cracks in my house and on my property, the drains that have fully collapsed and mixing in with the liquefaction and silt under my house and land, the dead cat under the house which may be in a few bits now, scattered here and there, the sewage that seeps up from the ground under my house, the kitchen drain water going under the house and obviously under the land with the other sewage and waste waters, (nobody will help due to the zoning), and what we will be doing in a year, where will we be living, how much more will my house sink into the ground and spread towards the river.
Ive had enough, and resent it when people think we are moaning. This is my first 'Orange zone' moan. We need to be in a stable environment, well anything other than the situation we are in now would be stable, or at least know what is around the corner for us.
Im sick of looking at the huge hole in the other corner of my garden, left to sit with a piece of trellis slightly over it, as if the work men thought 'Out of mind, out of sight', till land decisions are made.
Since 2004, life has certainly tested us, firstly my father died that year, which was followed by a handful of people I knew over the years who passed away since. Then in 2009 my neighbour died and left me his old house, so I sold both and moved to where I am now.(Old place is now green zone). I had the worst of dealings with Harcourts who I realised were only in it for the money and I was lied to etc, but I was vulnerable and upset and just wanted to get on with life. They even had the ordacity to ring me after the quake to see if my home was ok. I bet they wanted to sell me another property.
I want to be able to invite people around to a nice house, have a candle lit dinner, maybe one day get back in my sloping spa pool if it works again, do the washing and dishes without worrying about where the runoff is going, to have shoes and clothes that dont get silt on them every time I go outside, to unpack the rest of my stuff and have a proper home, and one day to go shopping for household items, which at the moment seems rather pointless.
I paid $58,000 more than my house was worth on the GV in 2009, 14 months before the Sept earthquake. I had no reason nor idea how to go about sorting house valuation after the fact, nor any reason to have thought about getting the GV upped due to the landscaped gardens etc that the prior owner had not declared. At the same time when I read about 'possible liquefaction' and 'Access to property for council is mandatory' I was not advised about these by my lawyer, when asked they just said that the only area of concern was the outdoor spa which required a compliant fence and permit. At that stage I was pretty clueless around buying a house (had owned the other one for 18 years and things had obviously changed). I would have given them all a run for their money with what I have learnt over the last 14 months.

I watch each day as the property gets worse, which is only making the costs higher for the insurance company and of course myself.
I have contemplated getting a caravan, or renting out a house down the road further etc, but the decision can come any day from CERA so this could be a waste of whatever energy I have left.
Even if I only have enough energy to breathe when the decision is made, I will find energy within me somehow to ensure that I don't just put up with what the govt feels I should put up with. Ive had enough and as each day passess I feel myself hardening, and becoming more impatient, with the feeling that noone is there who cares about how things are going with you, but only concerned with figures and stats.

Dont tell me I am wrong, as many experiences in my life have taught me things that others would never see in their lifetime, and now with the earthquakes this has given all us Cantabrians a lot more knowledge and I feel I have the right to finally voice.
Heck when you get told that it was bad workmanship, but told by different people it is nothing to do with bad workmanship, then told house has sustained severe structural damage and liquefaction, and later told by those who were wrong in the first place that I was right, and Fletchers would be around, but oh no you have Arrow coming around, and you are under the cap, no youre over the cap,and oh you have actually been paid out for over the cap for one event, heck its hard to remember who you are.
Since Junes land announcement I have received ONE letter about time frames, where are the so called letters I keep reading about online, and where are the flyers advising us here in Ferrymead/Brookhaven about certain events etc, support meetings, that we never see but only read about when looking online. Damn pathetic!